Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
~ C.S. Lewis
Recently someone sent me this poem from C.S.Lewis. When I first read it I felt uneasy about it. I could not understand the point of the poem. And then I saw the reason…
For Lewis love means opening our hearts to pain and sorrow. He sees the vulnerability of love as something negative, something to be avoided. Being vulnerable is the whole point of loving!
Loving, truly loving, is a deep connection in which you put yourself out in the open.
The only alternative is to live without love; to be alone forever.
Deep down though everyone of us knows that we were not born to be alone, everyone seeks connection.
This poem made me reflect on my work though. Over the years I have always tried to work for clients I can relate to, clients that at some level I had a connection to. People I could be vulnerable around and give them my true self. Only that way I am capable of doing honest work, provide the best service money can buy.
If I’d hide my vulnerability away I would become a soulless creature in my emotional life and a worse professional for it.
I reject that life that is no life!
Look into a mirror, deep into your eyes and ask this question to the person you have in front of you: ”Have you always done the right thing?”
I am sure I haven’t. There are many occasions I wish I would have chosen a different path, done a different thing, wished I had not said the things I did.
The why is less important to me. Most of the things that have happened have happened in the past; long gone are the days where changing what was said will make a difference.
The important thing is realising the fact that you are not unfailing – we all make mistakes, sometimes horrible ones.
Knowing that though, why would you not do the right thing from now on? It’s easier not to, isn’t it? Integrity is hard and hard choices need to be done sometimes.
Will you be able to live with yourself knowing that your moral principles don’t rest on strong ground? If the answer is no, you have everything you need to make that change.
We travel together, passengers on a little spaceship, dependent on it’s vulnerable reserves of air and soil, all committed, for our safety, to it’s security and peace. Preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work and the love we give our fragile craft.
~ Adlai E. Stevenson
Sometimes in life we are afraid of our next step, afraid to commit, afraid of our own shadow. We get anxious about the overwhelming amounts of what if’s and maybes.
Our minds get clouded and troubled in this busy times; it’s very easy to fall into the maelstrom of thoughts.
Take a breath, calm down, let the pressure fall. You are capable of doing many things in life, in fact, you have the potential to do everything you want to do.
Look ahead, to your desired future, and be now – you will get there!
We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
~ Ellen DeGeneres
The increasing amount of negativity in the world is mind boggling to me. Yes there are issues, yes, we all have to fix them together.
But there are two approaches to this, you can either insult, patronise, be rude, etc., or you can choose to be polite, understanding, empathic.
Yes, I am a privileged white man (words someone used to attack me on the internet), but I choose to use my privilege to help others. If you insult me, try to burn me, I will turn my back to you, continue doing what I am doing helping the world becoming a better place, while you keep on shouting and using your angry ways.
The only thing I ask you, as an intelligent human being, to stop being a jerk on the internet! Being far away, protected by the intimacy of your home, does not give you the right to insult others back and forth.
There is a good remedy for this, if you are interested:
Get out of your house (and your head), step outside, look at the world in wonder, and start helping others (and living your life).
And if you happen to be less privileged, seek help from people that will honestly look after you and offer real help, not just some way for them to feel better about themselves.
My son can play video games for 8 hours straight, for possibly a month or longer.
Now as a responsible parent you would not allow that to happen, but that is not really the interesting bit here.
The question you have to ask to yourself is ”why is it we can spend 8 hours straight doing something?” – the answer you will soon realise is actually quite simple, we have fun doing it.
And yet, when it comes to work we end up doing things that we either don’t like or don’t particularly enjoy.
We should aim to create workplaces we really enjoy working in, where everyone has fun and that add to our lives, filling us with energy.
That would be a place even my game playing son would love to work in!